Text

The lengths we go to.

Hi there. 

Big fan of your work. So much so that I’m on a mission to cheer the suffering shoppers of Haggerston up a little. I’ve been scarred for sure, so let’s have a little fun with the place. 

Would be great to know what you think. 

TPJ. 

Video

BIT OF A SERIOUS ONE… 

THIS IS THE PARK BEHIND HAGGERSTON STATION. AND THEY ARE KNIFE WIELDING CYCLISTS.

BE CAREFUL, LOCALS!!

Text

Anonymous said: have you been in there recently? its gone to shit again. not as bad as it used to be but its still shit. can you start this back up again or have they paid you some hush money to stop documenting the severe shitness?

Just to confirm - I’ve actually moved away from Haggerston (for reasons more positive than the Tesco) in May so no more first-hand documentation.

I’ll still post submissions if they can be verified as *that* Tesco.

Photo
Submission:
Incompetent incontinence causing inconvenience @ Tesco Hagg this morn!!!
LITERALLY ‘WET YOURSELF FUNNY’.

Submission:

Incompetent incontinence causing inconvenience @ Tesco Hagg this morn!!!

LITERALLY ‘WET YOURSELF FUNNY’.

Photo
…UH OH, TESCO!
AND YOU WERE DOING SOOOOOO WELL…

(Submitted by a wonderful, concerned neighbour)

…UH OH, TESCO!

AND YOU WERE DOING SOOOOOO WELL…

(Submitted by a wonderful, concerned neighbour)

Photo

You know you’ve made it when…

I COULD CRY.
GOING TO GO AND STEAL* ONE RIGHT NOW!
*NOT REALLY.**
**…BUT REALLY.

You know you’ve made it when…

I COULD CRY.

GOING TO GO AND STEAL* ONE RIGHT NOW!

*NOT REALLY.**

**…BUT REALLY.

Photo

THANK YOU JAMES!!!!! I hope now tonight i will be able to finally get to the pies and quiche & not have to have Doritos again for dinner…. Ax

POST APOCALYPTIC SUPERMARKET SWEEP.

THANK YOU JAMES!!!!! I hope now tonight i will be able to finally get to the pies and quiche & not have to have Doritos again for dinner…. Ax

POST APOCALYPTIC SUPERMARKET SWEEP.

Text

Mission accomplished!

Walked in this morning and can you adam and eve it, they’ve actually hire a team of staff and the place is full. I actually laughed out loud when I walked around in amazement. Great blog, great job. 

THE OLD WAYS OF CHAOS ARE BROWN BREAD (DEAD).

Link

OH MY… 

HAGGERSTON IS ON THE MAP. NOW CABBIES WILL HAVE A LANDMARK AT LAST.

BUT SADLY I WILL HAVE TO MOVE HOUSE.

Text

Thought I would share the Tesco misery we suffer down West

http://tescorocks.tumblr.com

SMUGFACE VON LANDROVER-VOGUE-LA-FARQUHAR FROM WEST LONDON - YOU CAN KEEP YOUR DELICIOUS CHOCOLATE FONDANT DESSERTS IN PREMIUM-BLACK PACKAGING.

WE JUST WANT MILK AND INSTANTLY-RECOGNISABLE VEGETABLES.

CAN I COME ROUND FOR DINNER THOUGH?

Text

Anonymous said: I hope this doesn't sound too snippy, but why don't you support your local corner shop instead of putting up with this hell on earth? I *know* there are plenty of other places to shop in Haggerston ;-)

GOLDHILL WINES NEXT DOOR - MAKE THE GUY LAUGH AND GET A FREE CHOMP.

DISCLAIMER: DEFINITELY DON’T TRY TO DO THIS.

Text

I once got held hostage inside this Tesco. A ‘youth’ wanted some beers (on New Year’s Day) and when the staff refused to serve him he got angry so they locked the doors until the police came. They also locked me and an elder gentleman with the very angry young man inside the Tesco for a solid ten minutes.

THEY MIGHT NOT HAVE TEA BAGS, BUT THEY DO DO KETTLES.

*DRUM ROLL*

Photo

Tesco, every little (very very little) helps.

USE YOUR IMAGINATION, PETER. 

Tesco, every little (very very little) helps.

USE YOUR IMAGINATION, PETER. 

Photo

This is Lee, the London manager for all Tesco express shops. He said that he’s seen the blog, thinks it’s funny, but that they sacked the old shop manager two weeks ago and that the new one will hopefully improve the experience for the customers and “improve trade”. He asked me what I thought of my experience and I said I was disappointed, everything was in order and I was expecting chaos. Let’s start a movement to bring back the old manager. I want to see the Haggerston Tesco in the epoch of its glory days!

A MAN WITH A CLIPBOARD IS A MAN THAT MEANS BUSINESS.
AND IF  YOU’RE READING, LEE:
Photo

Fridges always permanently locked open. Nothing quite like buying Luke warm bacon.

AT PEAK TIMES, THE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE TUSSLE FOR THE GAP BETWEEN THE PIZZAS AND THE READY MEALS HAS LED ME TO ORDERING TAKEAWAY.
TUSSLE HAS JUST BECOME MY FAVOURITE WORD.
TUSSLE.
TUSS. LE.
TUSSLE.

Fridges always permanently locked open. Nothing quite like buying Luke warm bacon.

AT PEAK TIMES, THE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE TUSSLE FOR THE GAP BETWEEN THE PIZZAS AND THE READY MEALS HAS LED ME TO ORDERING TAKEAWAY.

TUSSLE HAS JUST BECOME MY FAVOURITE WORD.

TUSSLE.

TUSS. LE.

TUSSLE.