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"I think they must have a ban on belts. I get treated to a full builder’s bum every time someone is restocking the lower shelves."

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"They sold neither mayonnaise nor dark chocolate when I lived around there. DAFUQ IS THAT ABOUT"

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"IM SO GLAD SOMEONE SET THIS UP. every time i have to go in there I get worked up into an infernal rage. they only sell things you dont need, and the most expensive version. and theres always like a bottle of squash broken on the floor leaking somewhere so you can get all nice and sticky while buying the jar of pilchards you dont need cos you really wanted a tin of tuna"

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THE BURGLAR ALARM IS STILL GOING OFF EVERY 30 MINUTES. AS USUAL… ITS NOT LIKE GIANT RATS IN A SUPERMARKET EVER GET BORED OF EATING AND BONKING, EATING AND BONKING, EATING AND BONKING…                              …ALL OVER YOUR GODDAMNED CEREAL.

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HAGGERSTON TESCO IS NOW SELLING MODERN ART IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STORE.

THIS PIECE IS A STATEMENT ON THE VASTNESS OF TODAY’S SOCIETY’S NARCISSISM; A VISIBLE MASS SPILLING OUT OF THE CONFINES OF CONVENTION WHILST CLEARLY CONSISTING OF MORE NEGATIVE SPACE AND VOIDS THAN ACTUAL MATTER.

FOR SALE. NO RESERVE. PLEASE USE THE MACHINE BY THE LOLLIES, THE REST ARE BROKEN.

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TWO ANGLES FOR THIS ONE.

DISCOUNTED CHILLED GOODS SWEATING ON A TROLLEY NEXT TO A MEAL DEAL WITH NO MEAL ON THE FLOOR.

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THESE PRINGLES HAD BEEN OSTRACIZED BY THE OTHERS FOR BEING TOO PLAIN. THEY WERE BANISHED TO THE WASTELAND OF THE AISLE.
A KID PICKED ONE UP AND ASKED HIS MUM IF HE COULD HAVE THEM. SHE SAID NO. HE PUT IT BACK ON THE SHELF IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ON IN THE FIRST PLACE.

THESE PRINGLES HAD BEEN OSTRACIZED BY THE OTHERS FOR BEING TOO PLAIN. THEY WERE BANISHED TO THE WASTELAND OF THE AISLE.

A KID PICKED ONE UP AND ASKED HIS MUM IF HE COULD HAVE THEM. SHE SAID NO. HE PUT IT BACK ON THE SHELF IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ON IN THE FIRST PLACE.

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A WOMAN ASKED WHERE THE CRISPS WERE AND THE SECURITY GUARD GENUINELY POINTED TO THIS TROLLEY.

A WOMAN ASKED WHERE THE CRISPS WERE AND THE SECURITY GUARD GENUINELY POINTED TO THIS TROLLEY.

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THEY’VE STARTED MAKING CHICANES TO ENTERTAIN THE PUNTERS WHEN THEY CAN’T FIND A SINGLE THING THEY WERE SHOPPING FOR… A LETHAL CHICANE OF MIXED GROCERIES.  THE SECURITY GUARD IS THE UMPIRE.

THEY’VE STARTED MAKING CHICANES TO ENTERTAIN THE PUNTERS WHEN THEY CAN’T FIND A SINGLE THING THEY WERE SHOPPING FOR… A LETHAL CHICANE OF MIXED GROCERIES.  THE SECURITY GUARD IS THE UMPIRE.

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SOMEONE FILLED A BASKET WITH PICKLED ONIONS AND LEFT IT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE. IT WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME I WAS IN THERE… NO ONE DID ANYTHING ABOUT IT UNTIL A CHAP CAME AND PUSHED IT NEXT TO THE DORITOS.

SOMEONE FILLED A BASKET WITH PICKLED ONIONS AND LEFT IT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE. IT WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME I WAS IN THERE… NO ONE DID ANYTHING ABOUT IT UNTIL A CHAP CAME AND PUSHED IT NEXT TO THE DORITOS.

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SOMEONE TOOK EVERYTHING OFF THE SHELVES AND PUT IT ON THE FLOOR. 
AT 6:30 ON A FRIDAY NIGHT. ONE WOMAN ON HER PHONE KICKED A BAG OF FLOUR BY ACCIDENT AND NEARLY FELL OVER. THERE WAS NO ONE TO COMPLAIN TO.

SOMEONE TOOK EVERYTHING OFF THE SHELVES AND PUT IT ON THE FLOOR.

AT 6:30 ON A FRIDAY NIGHT. ONE WOMAN ON HER PHONE KICKED A BAG OF FLOUR BY ACCIDENT AND NEARLY FELL OVER. THERE WAS NO ONE TO COMPLAIN TO.

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THE MICE ARE SETTING OFF THE ALARM

EVERY NIGHT, ALL NIGHT, THE BURGLAR ALARM IS SET OFF. IT ISN’T BURGLARS, IT IS MICE.

THE LITTLE BASTARDS KEEP ME AWAKE ALL NIGHT. EVERY NIGHT.

NO ONE IN THE STORE THE NEXT DAY WILL EVEN ADMIT THE ALARM WENT OFF.

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THIS ISN’T I-ROBOT. WHERE ARE THE PEOPLE?! OH, THAT IS RIGHT, THEY’RE RUNNING AROUND TRYING TO FIX THE MACHINES INSTEAD OF JUST USING THE TILL LIKE THE GOOD OLD DAYS… 
SOMEONE GAVE UP WAITING TO BE SO MUCH AS NOTICED AND DUMPED THEIR PAMPERS AND WALKED OFF. NO ONE CARED. EXCEPT THE KID WITH SHITTY NAPPY.

THIS ISN’T I-ROBOT. WHERE ARE THE PEOPLE?! OH, THAT IS RIGHT, THEY’RE RUNNING AROUND TRYING TO FIX THE MACHINES INSTEAD OF JUST USING THE TILL LIKE THE GOOD OLD DAYS…

SOMEONE GAVE UP WAITING TO BE SO MUCH AS NOTICED AND DUMPED THEIR PAMPERS AND WALKED OFF. NO ONE CARED. EXCEPT THE KID WITH SHITTY NAPPY.

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THIS MUST HAVE BEEN THE CLEANLIEST PANIC BUY EVER.
I JUST WANT SOME CLEANING PRODUCTS. WHY IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!

THIS MUST HAVE BEEN THE CLEANLIEST PANIC BUY EVER.

I JUST WANT SOME CLEANING PRODUCTS. WHY IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?!

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THIS IS NOT WHERE THE CRISPS LIVE. SORT IT OUT.

THIS IS NOT WHERE THE CRISPS LIVE. SORT IT OUT.